McLeod Law Offices

Yesterday, I met with a couple where we discussed their need to file bankruptcy. The husband expressed embarrassment at their decision to file and (like many of my clients) expressed concern that their employer or coworkers could learn about it. I did not think it was a possibility, and I told them so. But they told me something I felt the need to share with you.

Apparently, at his place of employment everyone is just happy and feeling fine (according to the client). Everyone has nice cars, nice houses and dresses well. No one there could possibly be considering bankruptcy. When my client looked at me and said “no one at my company is going through this”, I felt I had no choice but to ask him “how the $%@# do you know that?”

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We’re hearing a lot about “hope” lately. Recently, I met two people in seemingly hopeless financial situations who are relying on hope to get them through. There is hope. Then there is denial. And sometimes, it can be difficult to see the difference between the two.

These folks had marginal income, high mortgage payments, and both are facing foreclosure. One hoped they could find a job (even though they had been unemployed for almost a year). The other, whose income was not nearly enough, hoped business would pick up and their income would change (they are in real estate). Both clients hoped things will change and they can keep their homes. While I also hope things will change for them, unless they do it simply will not happen. And this is what I told them.

A friend of mine once suggested that I write more about “hope”, and even went further to suggest that I “sell hope.” I will continue to leave the selling of “hope” to politicians like Barak Obama whose campaign website is apparently “Powered by Hope.” The purpose of this website is not to sell “hope.” The people who visit this site tend to be (as they often tell me) looking for honest information. If readers find “hope” on this site, it’s because they found it. They do not need me to sell it to them.

Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone needs hope. Without hope, there is little reason to get out of bed in the morning. Without hope, there is little reason for a sick person to get well. While preparing this blog, I thought of two metaphors: hope is like a good wine: a few glasses is fine. It actually can be quite nice. But a bottle (or two) will get you drunk, and perhaps very sick. Maybe for a day or two. Or we can look at hope like coffee: a little will keep you awake and alert. Too much, and you’re jittery, sweaty, gasping for air, struggling with heart palpitations and otherwise bouncing off the walls.

If you’re facing some financial difficulty, ask yourself, how much of your game plan is based on “hope” and how much of that hope is really based on reality? Will your income improve? Will you be able to pull it together in time to avoid a foreclosure? If your answer to these questions is “I hope so”, then you need to thing about how much of your hope is your not wanting to see what might really be there. Like the real possibility that you will lose your home.

For the two clients I mention above, they both know what they have to do to get where they want to be. Both also know what if they cannot pull it together, they will need to start the process of moving into the next phase of their life, which will not be in the home they currently reside in. Both clients face very difficult realities. They may succeed and they may not. These clients came to me presenting difficult situations and wanting honest answers to their questions. I could have chosen to provide hope. But I believe that they deserved honesty first. I am fairly certain that both are grateful that that is what they got. One even gave me a big hug afterwards and said “thank you.”