Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot – and I mean a lot – about the stress that finances (and the lack thereof) is taking on families. I’m hearing about spouses sleeping on couches or in basements. I’m hearing from couples that are fighting and contemplating divorce. And I’m hearing from people who have gone through a divorce because of the household finances and they are trying to find a way to move on.
Today, this blog is for all of those families who find that joy and laughter have been replaced with debt and strife.
When we were all younger, we all had a vision of what we thought our life would be. But sometimes, life gives us little detours. We lose jobs, or we get hurt on the job. We get sick, or we go to a doctor who makes us sicker. We have kids, and sometimes, the kids get sick. We make decisions that seemed good, but then proved otherwise. We try and do what’s best, and sometimes, we end up making things worse.
And sometimes, we blame each other. The blaming leads to fighting which leads to resentment. And then that vision of what we thought out life would be somehow becomes unclear. Things are a complete mess.
Over the past few weeks, prospective clients have shared with me their stories of how the debt situation has impacted their lives and make it more difficult. Yes, choices were made. Yes, there is blame to go around. But to people in those situations, I ask these simple questions:
If the debt were done…or if it were under control, would things get better?
What if you filed bankruptcy and got the discharge you deserve?
In other words, if the debt could go away, might you be sleeping in one bed again? Might you be talking again…about something other than the debt, something more important? Might your family spend more quality time laughing, growing, conversing and enjoying the time they have together? Is the debt the ugly white elephant in the room who just won’t leave?
Is the debt like that last lingering party guest who just will not leave, and you’re not sure whether you should just ask them to leave, or perhaps you should just start turning off lights and hope that they get the hint… but instead of asking them to leave you just turn to your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend and suggest that who ever invited them should be the one who asks them to leave, but then no one wants to take responsibility for that since you both probably know them… and then the whole thing just devolves into an argument about stuff that has nothing to do with this odd person who is sitting on in your living room after everyone has left and who really should just leave already but clearly cannot take a hint…not that I would know anything about that at all.
If your answer is yes, then there is hope. If reading that last paragraph put a smile on your face, before you take whatever step you might be contemplating, try keeping that smile on your face when you suggest to your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend that there is hope. If you can approach it knowing that there is hope, then you may find it easier to start talking again about the really important stuff.
And then, you can start thinking about taking that next step.
Related posts:
- Hope Floats (or Sinks)
- The Peculiar Parallel of Debt Relief Agencies and Madonna
- Debt: The Prices You Pay
- Yet Another Reason to Avoid the Rip-Off of Debt Settlement
- When the Ex Files Bankruptcy
Tags: Bankruptcy