Storm Preparation: The Stages

Storm Preparation: The Stages

May 14, 2008

I’ve of written about the emotions that one goes through when contemplating bankruptcy. In one of my older blog postings, I harkened back to a cold February day where I had to put my 16 year old cat to sleep. There were a plethora of emotions that filled that experience, and some of which were the same that I see in my clients who are facing debt problems. It was with this in mind when I recently read articles (which lead me to read others around the net) that discussed the 5 stages of dying, and how they are transferable to other life changing events, including filing bankruptcy.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was the author of On Death and Dying. First published in 1969, the book is a study of the five stages an individual experiences when facing their own death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately, acceptance. Those stages are not just for those facing their own death; the family of a dying loved one also goes through the same stages, although not necessarily at the same time.

Perhaps some will think me weird, but I first read the book in high school as a part of an English book report project. It was a book that stayed with me because if for no other reason, it was just as much a study of living as it was a dissertation about the process of dying. And bankruptcy is in many ways like death.

Since I wrote that article in January 2007 (the link is below), I’ve lost another cat. Bridget was just over 6 years old. For reasons I will never be able to fully understand, she died very unexpectedly. She was not hit by a car, or attacked by another animal. She just got very sick, very quickly, and in very short order, she was gone. I had no say in the matter. She very likely had a genetic heart defect that is difficult to detect, and even more difficult to treat even if detected in time. Facing that, there was denial, and anger (and boy, was there anger), and bargaining, followed by depression and ultimately acceptance. We all go through these stages when we face something that is difficult and painful. Facing the prospect of filing a bankruptcy petition is no different.

While I endured those emotional stages with my cats, I also went through them with my friends and family members who have passed away: my grandparents, my mom and many friends. There’s no way I can explain (or for that matter anyone can) what “denial” is, or what “acceptance” looks like. But I can share my own personal and professional observations and experiences. If you’re reading Storm Preparation because you see that bankruptcy coming, be sure to come back over the next five weeks. I’m taking this series into a new (albeit temporary) direction. And next week, I'll tackle stage one: denial.


You might also be interested:
When Enough is Enough


Storm Preparation is a weekly series appearing on Wednesdays and offers tips and information to people who think they may need bankruptcy protection in the future. Questions, comments or suggestions can be addressed to info@mcleodlawoffices.com.

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