Last year I had to ask my vet to euthanize one of my cats. I had Cissie for more than 16 years. I got her my third year of law school. The decision was not a particularly easy one. She had been ill for a period of time, and it had come to a point of no return. As my vet said, the only thing that we could do would have ultimately lead to more bandages. To an extent, the decision to seek help for debt relief is much like that of having to put a sick pet to sleep. It’s not easy. It’s painful and gut-wrenching. But at some point, it has to be done. Deciding when to do it is the hardest part of that decision.
Cissie first started getting sick in the summer of 2004. She was not well at all and after a visit to the vet, we decided to try some new food. That ultimately worked for a period of time. But by November 2005 she started losing weight. Her attitude was okay. She still harassed the other cats and demanded to be recognized as the head of household. She ate normally (translated: a lot) but the weight kept coming off. We tried this medication, and that medication. We tried this test and that test. But for her, she was getting sick because she was old. When her liver and kidneys started failing, I knew I had to make a decision. And I did.
Of course, even though I knew I had no choice, and even though I knew it was the best thing for her, I could not help feeling awful. I felt like I had failed as a responsible pet owner. No, actually I felt I let my little girl down. There were so many “what ifs.” What if I did this? If only I had done that. What could I have possibly done to avoid this? Were there answers to those questions? Yes, frankly there were. Was there anything I could do to change it? No.
On more than one occasion, after looking at income, expenses and debt, I have told clients that enough is enough: robbing Peter to pay Paul isn’t working. Since a vast majority of my clients are neither farmers nor equestrians, I often say something along the lines of “it’s time to take the horse behind the barn and put it out of its misery.” In other words, it’s time to admit there is a point of no return, and head off to Bankruptcy Court.
As there would be with a horse, there are “what ifs” that folks might ask themselves. What if you bought this house, instead of that one? What if you didn’t refinance last year, or the year before? What if you didn’t lose your job or get sick? What if there really never was a divorce? Are there answers to those questions? Yes, frankly there are. Is there anything you can do to change it? No. All you can do is what is ultimately the last, best and right thing to do.
I do not regret that ultimate decision. I do miss Cissie, and always will. As a kitten she played with my highlighters while I was studying, and as she got older she would wake me up if I dared to ignore the alarm clock. But it all came to an end one chilly February day last year for one simple reason: it had to. It’s a day I am not fond of recalling. Yet if I can remind readers that there really is a life after those dark and difficult days, I’ll do it.
Foreclosures continues to rise. People continue to lose their homes. Debt continues to climb. I hear the stress and strain in the voices of people that call me daily asking me for help, and always saying "what can I do?" For everything there is a time, and for many there is a time to say “enough is enough.” When that is said, you will find the strength to do what you need to do: get through it, and move forward. And yes, you can move forward.
